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Willow1

What A Woman Should Have/know

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WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

...one old love

she can imagine

going back to...

and one who reminds

her how far she has come...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

...enough money within her

control to move out and

rent a place of her own

even if she never wants

to or needs to...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

..something perfect to wear if

the employer or date of her dreams

wants to see her in an hour...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

..a youth she's content

to leave behind...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

...a past juicy enough that

she's looking forward to

retelling it in her old age....

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

...a set of screwdrivers,

cordless drill, and a black

lace bra...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

..one friend who always makes

her laugh... and one who lets

her cry...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

...a good piece of furniture

not previously owned by anyone

else in her family...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

...eight matching plates, wine

glasses with stems, and a recipe

for a meal that will make her

guests feel honored..

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

...a feeling of control over

her destiny...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

..how to fall in love

without losing herself...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

 

..how to quit a job,

break up with a lover,

and confront a friend

without ruining the friendship...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

 

...when to try harder...and

when to walk away...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

 

...that she can't change the

length of her calves, the width

of her hips, or the nature of her

parents...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

 

...that her childhood may not

have been perfect...but its

over...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

 

...what she would and wouldn't

do for love or more...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

 

..how to live alone... even if

she doesn't like it...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

 

...whom she can trust,

whom she can't,

and why she shouldn't

take it personally...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

 

...where to go...

be it to her best friend's kitchen table...

or a charming inn in the woods...

when her soul needs soothing...

 

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

 

..what she can and can't

accomplish in a day...

a month...and a year...

 

 

Makes sense to me lol ;)W1

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A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

...enough money within her

control to move out and

rent a place of her own

even if she never wants

to or needs to...

sense to me lol  ;)  W1

Seems like planning for failure to me.

 

missle3.gif

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Star Rider your mistaken it's not about failure it's about being in control of your own life :mrwinky: It's about knowing you have a choice to stay or go and if you stay it's by choice not force :oreo:

 

Willow that's a good list just wonder why it takes us so long to understand it :blushing:

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A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

 

 

...a set of screwdrivers,

cordless drill, and a black

lace bra...

 

I knew a woman like that once, :mrgreen: , could never convince her to use the first two with the last though :woot::mrgreen:

 

Blue

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Guest Donna

Great post, its a keeper.

 

Yes mouse it is to bad we dont figure that all our when we are younger.

 

...a set of screwdrivers,

cordless drill, and a black

lace bra...

 

Blue, powertools and lace dont go well together, its a workhazard! LOL :mrgreen: I have all of the above, and then some.

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Willow1....since you live in South East KY and I live in Southwest VA, we must live fairly close to one another and I can certainly understand your post.

 

In my dealing with abused women the one thing I so wish they possessed is a "healthy self-esteem and sense of personal worth". No one, male or female should depend on another person for affirmation of their life.

 

Rev-Roy

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Star Rider your mistaken it's not about failure it's about being in control of your own life :mrwinky: It's about knowing you have a choice to stay or go and if you stay it's by choice not force :oreo:

 

Still sounds like failure to me Star :mrgreen: I guess that's why us guys can't get anywhere with women...we can't understand them even when they spell it out for us :mrgreen:

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Blue, powertools and lace dont go well together, its a workhazard!

I object to that statement! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:

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Donna those power tools do come in handy don't they I too alot more than a set of screwdrivers and a power drill :mrwinky: Even have a black lace bra buried in the drawer somewhere :oreo:

Jandar don't worry about understanding just accept :shifty:

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Thanks everyone for your comments, I just wish someone had given me that list when I was younger too. But, as they say, "experience is the best teacher." Things are much different now for women than just a few years ago and I personally hope they continue to improve. Spousal abuse both emotional and physical is a very serious problem and as Rev Roy said, low self esteem is one of the major reasons that women stay in bad and all to often dangerous relationships.

And, no,Star Rider, its not about failure at all, but as mouse said, about being in control of ones own life, of having choices.

Yes, Rev Roy we do live very close, I visited your web site, the pictures were beautiful of Lee County. I live just down and through the tunnel from Lee.

And Blue, I suppose that line means different things to different women, but the way it read to me was, to be able to use those tools when necessary without having to be dependent on anyone to repair something, being able to do it ourselves, but to also at the same time be able to retain one's feminine side as well. Its called "reading between the lines" at least for me anyway! LOL

 

Anyone please feel free to copy the post and pass it on to anyone you feel could benefit from it.

 

W1

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Donna those power tools do come in handy don't they I too alot more than a set of screwdrivers and a power drill :mrwinky: Even have a black lace bra buried in the drawer somewhere :oreo:

Jandar don't worry about understanding just accept :shifty:

I see this ploy...it's like signing your name on something you don't even know what it is...It's a world wide conspiracy of women!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES FELLOW MALES!!! GRAB YOUR TOOLBOXES AND TOYS, WE MUST LEAVE!!! Hehehe :mrgreen:

 

O BTW, it's Jander, with an 'e'...just to help with your spelling ;)

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Guest Donna

Can someone please explain to me why its failure for a woman to be prepared to leave if she needs to. I dont understand that.

You may PM me, I am not asking to start an agrument, i just cant figure it out. :blank: It took me a year to save enough to be able to leave my husband who beat the crap out of me. Why is it failure? :(:(

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No Donna - I don't think it's failure - It is common sense to leave when YOU feel it is necessary - it is failure to stay and feel defeated !

 

* Great that you left the abuse behind - that is totally uncalled for behavior.

You did NOT fail you were liberated by yourself !

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I see it like this: It's like at the beginning of a marriage, dividing up all the household stuff (furnature, appliances, etc.) and saying who gets it in case of divorce. What that translates to is: Well, I expect that we'll get divorced one day, so lets just get this over with now.

 

If you're in a good relationship, you won't have to worry about that sort of thing. My parents were on the virge of divorce when I was growing up, but they decided to work it out (not that everyone can and its not easy). Now, they are the happiest couple I know. They went through some of the money stashing "just in case" and all that, but what it really came down to was mistrust. Like I said, they worked very hard for a very long time, and now they're the happiest couple I know.

 

In your case, I'm very glad you were able to leave. Abuse is a whole nuther animal that I'm glad to say I don't have any experience with. Leaving an abusive partner is not failure on your part...it's actually a success.

 

Now I'll hang up my counceling hat and step off my box :mrgreen:

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Guest Donna

Thanks Jander,

 

I see where you were coming from. I didn't relate it to the beginning of the marriage/commitment. :)

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;)

 

Something I just thought of: If you have this in mind from the beginning (what am I going to do if he does such ans such), it creates unrest in your mind, and very possibly, it will give you paranoia. Think of it this way: If you think that when you cross an intersection another car will hit you, even though you have no grounds for your suspicion. So, finally, after thinking that this will happen for so long, you'll take another route. All that suspicion did was put in your mind that something was going to happen, and your imagination took care of the rest. :)

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I see it like this: It's like at the beginning of a marriage, dividing up all the household stuff (furnature, appliances, etc.) and saying who gets it in case of divorce. What that translates to is: Well, I expect that we'll get divorced one day, so lets just get this over with now.

 

If you're in a good relationship, you won't have to worry about that sort of thing. My parents were on the virge of divorce when I was growing up, but they decided to work it out (not that everyone can and its not easy). Now, they are the happiest couple I know. They went through some of the money stashing "just in case" and all that, but what it really came down to was mistrust. Like I said, they worked very hard for a very long time, and now they're the happiest couple I know.

 

In your case, I'm very glad you were able to leave. Abuse is a whole nuther animal that I'm glad to say I don't have any experience with. Leaving an abusive partner is not failure on your part...it's actually a success.

 

Now I'll hang up my counceling hat and step off my box :mrgreen:

Exactly.

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Actuall, it all just comes out. Personal experience goes a long way. Plus, my Dad and I are very close. While growing up, we had debates over everything and it really helps me for things like this. And anyway, I'm used to explaining why I think a certain way :mrgreen:

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Can someone please explain to me why its failure for a woman to be prepared to leave if she needs to. I dont understand that.

 

I don't think that it's destined failure to be prepared for anything!.

 

Relationships (in a perfect world) are best developed between people that are completely committed to the success of the relationship, involving complete acceptance , trust , compassion , respect....etc . It's unfortunate that all too often people get involved in relationships for wrong reasons, many of them very destuctive to the relationship itself.

 

As a Christian , I believe that we are created in Gods image , He desires a relationship with us , and we ( relational creatures) , desire a relationship with Him and one another. But we have a hard time choosing the unconditional love that is needed to make it work. God demonstrated his desires for us in the life of Christ. He loves us unconditionally , an through Christs' death has completely forgiven us

for thinking we could do life without Him. Unconditional love and complete forgiveness are very powerfull relationship skills.

 

I don't mean to preach here , the great commission ( Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel of our lord Jesus Christ) can sometimes be hard for people to accept , and I prefer to let my actions speak louder than my words in that regard. So I'll end by saying ;

 

Donna I'm very sorry to hear what happened to you ,and don't ever feel that you were wrong in leaving someone that abused you. Having the strength and courage to get out of that kind of situation is very admirable . I am going to assume that what Star meant was that if one was to keep the (prepared to leave) attitude in the fore front of their mind set it can be a recipe for failure. Whereas if one was to keep a ( I'm going to fight for this relationship for as long as I can until it's time to leave) attitude , it could be a recipe for success.

 

 

Blue

 

:rocks:

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True, but to be prepared for a failed relationship is to acknowledge the thought that it could happen and probably will, which then sows the seeds of doubt, mistrust, and a few others.

 

Think of it this way: California has many earthquakes. You've never been in one personally, but the fact that it could happen is there. So, you take precautions to be prepared. This preparedness is taking you from knowing there is a possibility to expecting it to happen.

 

All to often nowadays, marriage is viewed as something you have to do to be with a person, and then, when you're done with them, divorce. I know people who have been divorced 5+ times. People just use it as an excuse (not in all cases such as Donna's however).

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Divorce: An excuse for many to get out of commitments instead of working it out.

 

Re-marriage: If you find the right person, a beautiful thing.

 

Adultery: Asking for trouble in a big way. Adultery can and will mess up your life.

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