Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
ChrisR

This Is Ridiculous

Recommended Posts

I do have children around that age. I haven't had to resort to bullying them. The primary reason children run away from home is domestic violence. It usually starts when they are toddlers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The thing is Andrew, is we weren't talking about domestic violence. We were talking about discipline. You and Chris don't seem to know the difference.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DL, you're doing a fine job defending yourself on this matter. So far I think I agree with everything you've said...unless I missed something I don't agree with. :)

 

Everyone else the same, except unless you agree with DL, I probably don't agree with you. :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps you would be kind enough to explain the difference to me?

Is it the actual force of the blow or the frequency of the smacking?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps you would be kind enough to explain the difference to me?

Is it the actual force of the blow or the frequency of the smacking?

It is the situation that makes the difference. If they have done wrong that requires the discipline then that is what it is. I do agree that just beating your kid for the heck of it is wrong, but there is a difference in discipline and domestic violence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps you would be kind enough to explain the difference to me?

Is it the actual force of the blow or the frequency of the smacking?

Domestic violence usually consists of terrorizing or bullying, usually for no other reason than the satisfaction of the abuser, be it mental or physical abuse. (I've lived with an abuser, so trust me, I know what I'm talking about. It's no fun to be somebody's punching bag.)

 

Discipline is simply the reinforcement of cause and effect. If you do something that is unacceptable (for example a child messing with stuff that doesn't belong to him), then that child needs to know there will be repercussions. The punishment needs to fit the crime.

 

I have never said, and never will say, that it's ok to beat your kids. IT'S NOT! But there is nothing wrong with properly disciplining your child. It's not ok to abuse (physically or otherwise) anybody.

 

But spanking your child or smacking his hands is a far cry from bullying or beating your child.

 

And yeah, I would say one of the differences would be the force of the blow. You can lightly smack a 2 year old's hand and they will get the message just fine. There's no need to back hand the kid and knock him off his feet. I would call that abuse.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think the children of this new and wonderful politically correct age will ever understand the difference between abuse and discipline. If they think the marine corps, who are very proficient with promoting discipline, will create that discipline by ordering a "time out", then reality dictates a wake up call. When a parent is forbidden to discipline their own child (note the absence of the word "abuse"), then that child will grow up never having learned the importance of a lesson in the ramifications of their actions. And when the child is given the legal right to impose a lawful imposition on their parent(s) for that discipline, then a travesty has been commited against the concept of growing up and assuming responsibility for ones actions.

 

Contrary to what many may think, there is indeed a difference between discipline and abuse. Discipline is a punishment (or a reward) for negative (or positive) behavior. Abuse is a malicious and violent act against a fellow human being for no apparent reason, or for all the wrong reasons.

 

I am entitled to my opinion and this is it. -kd5-

Edited by kd5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry Hammer I'm having difficulty drawing a comparison between housebreaking a dog and disciplining a child but to answer your question, no.

DL maybe we should agree to disagree, we both seem to have fixed views.

 

 

 

 

kd: Please don't think I belong to the politically correct group. Hell I still tell French jokes.(Not here of course)

Edited by Andrew S.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DL maybe we should agree to disagree, we both seem to have fixed views.

You're absolutely right Andrew. And both views are equally respected in my book. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with DL completely 100%. Sure a child may not understand the exact reasons of being smacked but they can understand that their action = discomfort so they will not do it again. In my opinion and experiance time-outs are a joke, the kid gets mouthy and doesn't want to do it so the parent yells louder... big deal. Time-outs make kids #%^*!, you can always tell someone who has been spanked opposed to someone who has had timeouts. And as for ChrisR's statement with regards to hitting parents, I have absolutely no ill will towards my parents for spanking me... a tanned #%^*! is sometimes the price I paid for being a little #%^*!.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I couldn't disagree more.  If he isn't even old enough to speak, he'll never understand why he's being hit.

 

As for hitting kids in general, I don't think it's required to make good adults.  I did get spanked when I was younger, but if my parents hit me now, I'd probably react with one right back at them.  I'm not a bad person by any means, but the point is that hitting didn't teach me a thing about respecting my parents or elders.  They respect me, and I'll respect them, bottom line.

When you're two years old, your thought process is similar to that of a small animal. If a dog peed on the carpet, you don't give it a treat and praise it, then expect it to stop peeing on the rug. You give it a swat on the rear. Eventually, it'll get the idea that what it's doing is wrong. Also, DragunLadee happens to be a mother of two teenagers, so I think she knows what she's talking about. As for what you said about hitting your parents if they hit you, I don't think they disciplined you enough as a child. I wouldn't blame them if they gave you a good smack. No real man will hit their parents if they got smacked. Edited by Jakeofalltrades

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you are an employer and a member of your staff refuses to follow your instructions, would it be ok to give them a 'gentle' smack to enforce your position? Hitting little people is bullying and in my opinion (that of a father of 2 teenagers) is the sign of failure as a parent. Violence is generally a learned trait and smacking children is simply teaching them that violence is a good way of getting your point across.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As I said in my last post here....my eldest has appoligised for being a rebel when she was younger....she saw the way her sister was during High School,

they both got a smack if they need it...

and now are beautiful Human Beings.

Diciplin has gone out the window , both schools and parents can't give it anymore.....hence all the violence around homes and schools :mrsgreen:

 

None of you can say that it is a better world now....(I'm talking about bringing kids up) then what it was say 20 years ago.....

I would hate to have kids in this world now...the way it is

Sorry thats my opinion.....

Wendi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wendi, no need to apologise for your opinion :) it's as valid as anyones. (however misguided it is :lol: )

 

The world now is run by the kids of 20 years ago - the same kids who used to get a 'smack' at home and school. Doing a fine job ain't they :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well..I think some are doing a great job.....

and i dont think i am misguided either.....

 

I was belted growing up..and swore I would never treat my kids the way I was treated....and I didn't....but when it came to diciplin.....a smack didnt hurt...there is a big difference between a belting...and a smack on the bum or hand....

 

But you have to think back when kids had manners....and respect for other people....Im not saying all kids....but quite a few of them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never raised a hand to my kids, I prefer hugs to smacks.

 

They've all turned out fine, we have a lot of love and respect for each other. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If my parents hit me, I might not sock them in the face, but I would block, shove, whatever, I wouldn't let them hit me.

 

I never really meant I'd hit my parents.

 

 

And I never, EVER thought I'd say this...

 

But I agree with Jazzy and Sir T :yikes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never raised a hand to my kids, I prefer hugs to smacks.

 

They've all turned out fine, we have a lot of love and respect for each other. :)

Love and respect is a good thing to have, and your approach can be effective, but only to an extent. Without discipline, they'll never learn that wrong things come with consequences.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love and respect is a good thing to have, and your approach can be effective, but only to an extent. Without discipline, they'll never learn that wrong things come with consequences.

I agree with that statement except for the word 'never'. There will always be exceptions to any rule, but the basic principle behind that concept is sound IMHO. -kd5- Edited by kd5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...