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Y kawika

Sunday funnies........

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Fathers & sons..............


An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey ,

He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden,

But it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.



His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:


Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like

I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year.

I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.

I know if you were here my troubles would be over.

I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like

The old days.


Love, Papa



A few days later he received a letter from his son.


Dear Papa,

Don't dig up that garden.

That's where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie



At 4 a.m. The next morning,

FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up

The entire area without finding any bodies.

They apologized to the old man and left.


That same day the old man received another letter from his son.



Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.

That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you,



Vinnie


:) Y


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Wait Tom ... does a woman growl when you hold her and tell her how beautiful she is ?

If she growls, are you sure she's a woman? :yikes:

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The tourist was admiring the Indian's necklace.

"What is it made of?" she asked.

"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.

"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much

to you as pearls do to us."

"Oh, no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."

----------------------------------------------------------

 

An Indian woman went to the school to register her boys.

"How many children do you have?" asked the secretary.

"Ten" she said.

"And what are their names?" she was asked.

"Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and Bob" she said

"They're ALL named Bob?" the secretary asked. "What if you want them to come in from playing?'

"That's easy" she explained. "I just call Bob and they all come running".

"And what if you want them to come and eat?" the secretary asked.

"I just say Bob, come eat your dinner, and they do". She said.

"But what if you want just ONE Bob to do something?" asked the secretary

"Oh that's easy" she said. "I just use their last names".

 

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Speeding

 

One Sunday, sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.

 

He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

 

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five little old Indian ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! I always go exactly the speed limit. What seems to be the problem?"

 

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

 

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly! Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old Indian woman says a bit proudly.

 

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

 

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

 

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask . . . Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with concern.

 

"Oh, they'll be all right, officer. We just got off Route 119."

Edited by mme

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An Old Indian was speeding down the highway one day, when he suddenly noticed a Police cruiser behind him, lights flashing and siren wailing. "Oh Shoot" he muttered to himself, " what should I do"? He decided to try and get away and floored the gas pedal. At speeds up to 160KM per hour, the cruiser stayed right behind him. Realizing his old car couldn't out run the cruiser, he decided he'd better pull over. The Officer came up to his window and said to him "If you can give me a good reason why you were trying to get away, I'll consider letting you go". So, the Old Indian explained "One of your fellow officers took off with my wife and I thought you were bringing her back". The Officer told him "Have a good day".....

 

 

 

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Quote......

 

 

A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad. -------

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

don't be offended at next one-------

 

 

All for the People

 

4 men gather on the top of 30-story building, an East Indian, a Japanese, an American Indian, and a White Man.

 

The East Indian guy says, "This is for my people!" and he jumps off. The Japanese says, "This is for my people!" and jumps off.

The American Indian says, "This is for my people"

and pushes the White Man off.

Edited by mme

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