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Y kawika

Sunday funnies........

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I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)

 

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

I don’t have to go to school or work.

I get an allowance every month.

I have my own pad.

I don’t have a curfew.

I have a driver’s license and my own car.

I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store.

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.

And I don’t have acne.

Life is great.

 

Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this.

 

Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe.

 

Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so too, do humans take longer to access information when their brains are full.

 

Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline. The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael Ramscar, but only because we have stored more information over time. The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.

 

Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. It is NOT a memory problem, it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise.

 

SO THERE!!

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names. So, please forward this to your friends; they may be my friends, too.

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mine was reaction time of a 22 year old. 328 milliseconds.

 

think they needed a better/larger test sample seeing how i'm 50 with what i'd say were slow reaction times.

 

:b33r:

 

tried again and got the message "we're not sure if your an actual human being" reaction time of 279 milliseconds. :rofl3:

Edited by terry1966

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376 - 28 year old.

 

retest 305 - 19 year old.

 

again 329 - 22 year old.

 

I'm now exhausted and should probably go back to bed.

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A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."

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Geezer's Clinic

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical
clinic.


He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment
for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans
about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please
help me ??"

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr.
Young's mouth."

Dr. Young: Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be
$500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to
recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the
patient's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back.

That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after
several more days.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak ---I can hardly see anything!

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, Here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)

Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!

You got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can
outsmart an "old Geezer"
:) Y

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