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Y kawika

Sunday funnies........

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People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburetor.

Last January on a bitterly cold winter's day, a North Dakota State Trooper on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside. The biker was swathed in heavy protective clothing and wearing a full-face helmet to protect the face from the cold weather.

 

Whats the matter? asked the Trooper

 

"Carburetor's frozen," was the terse reply.

 

"Pee on it. That will thaw it out."

 

"I can't," said the biker.

 

"OK, watch me closely and I'll show you." The Trooper unzipped and promptly warmed the carburetor as promised.

 

Moments later the bike started and the rider drove off, waving.

 

A few days later, the local State Troopers office received a note of thanks from the father of the motorcyclist.

 

It began: "On behalf of my daughter Jill..."

 

:rofl3::rofl3::rofl3:

 

 

 

 

:geezer:

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Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

 

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

 

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

 

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals ........very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

 

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

 

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

 

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

 

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

 

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

 

Guess where I am now ...

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Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

 

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

 

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

 

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals ........very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

 

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

 

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

 

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

 

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

 

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

 

Guess where I am now ...

 

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

 

 

 

 

:geezer:

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THREE LITTLE BOYS were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.
They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school.
So​ ​they went to the nearest church. But, only the janitor was there.
One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us.
Will​ ​you baptize us?"
Sure,"​ said the janitor.
He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at time.
Then he said, "You are now baptized!"
When they got outside, one of them asked, "'What religion do you think we are?"
The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you."
"We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water."
"We're not Methdiss,​ ​because they just sprinkle water on you.."
The littlest one said,"Didn't you smell that water?"
They all joined in asking, 'Yeah What do you think that means?'
"I think it means we're Pisskopailians!"

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THREE LITTLE BOYS were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.

They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school.

So​ ​they went to the nearest church. But, only the janitor was there.

One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us.

Will​ ​you baptize us?"

Sure,"​ said the janitor.

He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at time.

Then he said, "You are now baptized!"

When they got outside, one of them asked, "'What religion do you think we are?"

The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you."

"We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water."

"We're not Methdiss,​ ​because they just sprinkle water on you.."

The littlest one said,"Didn't you smell that water?"

They all joined in asking, 'Yeah What do you think that means?'

"I think it means we're Pisskopailians!"

 

:thud:

 

 

 

 

:geezer:

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An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: Dr. Geezer’s clinic. “Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000.”

Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
This is what transpired:

Dr. Young: — “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth.” can you please help me ??

Dr. Geezer: — “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: — Aaagh !! — “This is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Doctor Young: “Oh no you don’t, — that is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak — I can hardly see !!!!

Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so — Here’s your $1000 back.”

Dr. Young: “But this is only $500…”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”

Moral of story — Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old “Geezer ” !!!!

 

 

 

 

:geezer:

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