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Y kawika

Sunday funnies........

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A warm hearted Lawyer------------------------------ One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?""We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied."We have to eat grass.""Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you, " the lawyer said."But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.""Bring them along," the lawyer replied.Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!""Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind.""Thank you for taking all of us with you.The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high." :rolleyes: Y

:lol:

 

 

 

 

:geezer:

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A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. "That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!"

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A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. "That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!"

 

:rofl3:

 

 

 

 

:geezer:

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We used to have two cats that would climb the ladder to see what we were doing while we were remodeling our house, but they never helped!

helping cat.jpg

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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a sheriff from West Virginia.

 

The sheriff asks for license and registration.

 

The lawyer asks, "What for?"

 

The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

 

The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming."

 

"You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently.

 

The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

 

The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle."

 

The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

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