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Y kawika

Sunday funnies........

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Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield ...........

Because he said ....

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.

MY FAVORITE:

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with.

:) Y

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A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter.

 

"How much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant.

 

In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie?

 

We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. "

 

The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ?

 

"That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture... "

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there were a 'thank you' card
and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community
service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there were a 'thank you'
card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill,
the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing
community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen
lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our
country and the politicians who run it.

 

 

 

 

:geezer:

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That's what you get for using Japanese nappy's, they have always regretted the name the marketing team came up with, and management strongly believe using SacoPooPoo was a bad choice` in marketing lol. :rofl3:

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Hope he's not robbing the store, he's hobbled!

:geezer:

Would like to think that if he was going to rob a store and wore pants like those, he'd be an easy catch.

How on this green earth can someone find that comfortable?

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