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bob3160

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Four women friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls getaway trip -

shopping, casinos, massages, facials, etc.

 

Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his foot down

and tells her she isn't going.

 

Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do.

 

Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the

bar drinking a glass of wine.

 

"Wow, how long you been here and how did you talk your husband into

letting you go?"

 

"Well, I've been here since last night........... Yesterday evening I was

sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands

over my eyes and said 'Guess who'?"

 

I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his birthday suit.

He took my hand and lead me to our bedroom. The room was scented with

perfume, had two dozen candles and rose petals all over............On the

bed, he had handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to the

bed, so I did. And then he said, "Now, you can do whatever you want."

 

So here I am.

Edited by terry1966

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A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas

City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window)

turned to his mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big

cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?' The

mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the

flight attendant.

 

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, 'If big

dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes

have baby planes?' The busy flight attendant smiled and said, 'Did

your Mother tell you to ask me?' The boy said, 'Yes, she did.' 'Well,

then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes

because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain

that to you.

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Do you want something eating?

Asked the Stewardess at the man in the Aeroplane.

What...from can I make a choice? Asked he.

Out yes or no! She said.

 

:rolleyes:

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There walks a man in a big desert with a huge thirst.

Than he meet a man.

“Has you water?”

“No Sir, only (neck) ties”

A day later he sees weather a man.

“Has you water?”

“No Sir, only ties”

Weather a day later, he sees a Cafe.

The Cafe owner open the door on a c h i n k.

“Has you water?” asks the man.

“Yes I have, but without tie, you don‘t come in my Cafe!”

Edited by Strong Rock

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Our kids are still asking an age old question:

MOM, why can't I find a job ??

 

This might be the reason:

 

 

Posted Image

(click image for slideshow)

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A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

 

 

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

 

 

'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.

 

 

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

 

'Try it now,' said one bee.

 

 

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?

 

 

 

The bee answered,

 

 

 

Posted Image

 

Posted Image

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SIZE does Matter!!

 

>>

 

>>

 

Sometimes it's better to have a SMALL ONE!

 

>>

 

>>

 

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>>

 

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Posted Image

 

 

Oh, what where you thinking......

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