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OSalcido

Girlfriend of 4 Years Left me

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Well as I see it you have two choices.

 

One, occupy every single moment of your life trying to get back a girl who doesn't want you in her life. End result? Still heartbroken, possibly depressed, serious emotional issues, and still alone. Maybe one or two relationships with other women, all of which end badly because you only got with them to make your ex jealous.

 

Two, move on and find another girl you're really actually happy with. Get on with your life and stop living in the past. You'll still be heartbroken but at least you'll have someone to piece things back together with. End result, you look on your last relationship as a learning experience and get on with your life.

 

If you aren't going to listen to any of the advice we're giving you then just end this thread now. You can bash her all you want but right now this girl is walking all over you, if you go crawling back to her it only proves how pathetic you've become. Maybe things do work out the way you want, and you do get back together with her, but for how long? Maybe a month? What happens when you find out she's having an affair with another guy? Are you still going to go crawling back to her?

 

 

Please don't take this the wrong way, I have nothing against you, but it's not always easy to see when you're making a mistake like this..

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hey dude, i have other solutions :snooze:

 

Wow, maybe you could think of your own solutions next time instead of plagiarizing someone else's ideas.

 

As for OSalcido, feel better. You will find another woman and you will be happy again, it's only a matter of time. Take the time you have now to reflect upon yourself. Find out who you really are and enjoy the single life :mrwinky: . By the way, do not attack the woman you broke up with in any way that she can find out. It will hurt her more if you speak nothing of her. Do not feed her ego.

 

I wish you good luck in your future searching :beer:

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I'm curious OSalcido, did it ever occur to you that your ex-girlfriend could present this thread to a Judge for evidence of a need for a restraining order against you?

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I'm curious OSalcido, did it ever occur to you that your ex-girlfriend could present this thread to a Judge for evidence of a need for a restraining order against you?

 

ok....?

1) she doesnt know i post here

2) why would it be need of a restraining order?

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wow nine pages, time to move on with your life, No women that breaks up with you is worth nine pages of anything, and i do mean Not a sinlge one

Edited by The Bear

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ok....?

1) she doesnt know i post here

2) why would it be need of a restraining order?

 

:laughing:

 

It? That's exactly why. Who's to say you won't start following her around soon?

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All women are evil.

 

Get used to it.

 

:lol:

 

Osalcido, I've been through this as well. The first break-up is always the worst.

 

Just remember that every minute you waste with this girl, you waste finding someone better looking, nicer and one who kisses 5x better. :P

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:lol:

 

Osalcido, I've been through this as well. The first break-up is always the worst.

 

Just remember that every minute you waste with this girl, you waste finding someone better looking, nicer and one who kisses 5x better. :P

 

I know that I know...... she wasnt the prettiest she wasnt the smartest, funniest, definitely not the nicest... i'm a weird kinda person when it comes to relationships, though... the longer I'm with someone the more I trust them the more I depend on them and love them, I guess... she's the opposite (i would consider it the normal behavior) where the longer she was with me the more she got tired of me and wanted to be with someone else... believe it or not about a year ago , I was the one wanting to break up with this chick because I didnt feel particularly close to her.... but of course she sobbed, threatened suicide and I didn't want to put her thru what shes putting me...so i caved. I guess the more she needed me the more I felt I could need her back and trust her..... but apparently all I did was give her self-confidence, motivation, etc. and she was all too willing to dump me... hope this serves a lesson to everyone else who might be going thru the same thing though.

 

BTW I havent even really talked to this girl in about a month..... all we've been doing is emailing each other. Not quite what I consider stalking

Edited by OSalcido

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I know that I know...... she wasnt the prettiest she wasnt the smartest, funniest, definitely not the nicest... i'm a weird kinda person when it comes to relationships, though... the longer I'm with someone the more I trust them the more I depend on them and love them, I guess... she's the opposite (i would consider it the normal behavior) where the longer she was with me the more she got tired of me and wanted to be with someone else... believe it or not about a year ago , I was the one wanting to break up with this chick because I didnt feel particularly close to her.... but of course she sobbed, threatened suicide and I didn't want to put her thru what shes putting me...so i caved. I guess the more she needed me the more I felt I could need her back and trust her..... but apparently all I did was give her self-confidence, motivation, etc. and she was all too willing to dump me... hope this serves a lesson to everyone else who might be going thru the same thing though.

 

BTW I havent even really talked to this girl in about a month..... all we've been doing is emailing each other. Not quite what I consider stalking

 

Ok, I'm no expert, but I'll tell you this:

 

Women like men who aren't afraid to tell them off when they deserve, who are spontaneous, who are sometimes a jerk and who are confident enough to always keep them on edge. You do not have to be a jerk. Just don't be a "nice guy." You'll find out what this is later on. Girls get tired of the same routine. Here are some rules. NEVER call a girl more than twice a week. Let her wonder and call you sometimes. Also, never tell her when you will call her. This keeps them on edge and she will constantly think about when you will call her. This is good. You want them to think about you.

 

Just be spontaneous. Show up at her door sometimes, drag her out by the hand and go for a walk. They love that romantic spontaneous spur of the moment stuff. Girls think different than guys. Guys sleep, eat, watch football and eat some more. Guys are creatures of routine while women act more on emotion. It's a known fact.

 

You have to always be a step ahead. You need to get as many friends as you can who are girls and get to know what they think. You need to understand why they act the way they do to certain things. Experiment, and see what works for you. The more you learn, the better you will be at attracting women.

 

When you see a pretty girl, don't think. Look at all the things about her which aren't attractive. Think of how you can talk to a girl like anybody else, but once you see a gorgeous women you start shaking. It's all in your head, and you can trick it to not make you nervous. As you approach her remind yourself that she isn't perfect, and make criticisms about her while you talk. You won't believe how much this calms you down and how much more confident you seem from it. Go up to her, introduce yourself and tease her. It's a simple formula. Don't make yourself too available in the beginning and don't come off clingy. Play it cool and it will all fall into place.

 

Do NOT be a "nice" guy. I use to be one in middle school and I didn't even know it. Once I broke out of it as I entered high school people respected me and I had more friends. There is a difference between being a nice person and a "nice guy." When a girl rejects you and wants to be friends it is because she sees you as emotionally selfish. If you are people pleaser, stop. Don't tell people what they want to hear. It's the worst characteristic. Tell the facts and how you feel. If a girl is being testy on a day tell her she's being really rude. Don't be a rug. Stand up for yourself. This is why many relationships fail. Many times a girl uses a guy who she sees as vulnerable. She can tell a guy a mile off who will bend over backwards to eat out of her hand. If you have a spine a girl won't use you. (I'm not being sexist. Guys use women too).

 

These are a few things I learned about women by just dating. I learned what works and what doesn't. Make friends with them and you will grow confidence, experience and get a glimpse into their heads. Go out there and get 'em dude! Don't care what others think, and if a girl blows you off move on. You'll snag a great one in no time. B)

 

read this article

 

The road to finding a girl should not be a burdeon. Dating and searching for women is fun. Why do you think so many people in relationships always talk about wishing they were single. :lol:

Edited by The Dude

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Ok, I'm no expert, but I'll tell you this:

 

Women like men who aren't afraid to tell them off when they deserve, who are spontaneous, who are sometimes a jerk and who are confident enough to always keep them on edge. You do not have to be a jerk. Just don't be a "nice guy." You'll find out what this is later on. Girls get tired of the same routine. Here are some rules. NEVER call a girl more than twice a week. Let her wonder and call you sometimes. Also, never tell her when you will call her. This keeps them on edge and she will constantly think about when you will call her. This is good. You want them to think about you.

 

Just be spontaneous. Show up at her door sometimes, drag her out by the hand and go for a walk. They love that romantic spontaneous spur of the moment stuff. Girls think different than guys. Guys sleep, eat, watch football and eat some more. Guys are creatures of routine while women act more on emotion. It's a known fact.

 

You have to always be a step ahead. You need to get as many friends as you can who are girls and get to know what they think. You need to understand why they act the way they do to certain things. Experiment, and see what works for you. The more you learn, the better you will be at attracting women.

 

When you see a pretty girl, don't think. Look at all the things about her which aren't attractive. Think of how you can talk to a girl like anybody else, but once you see a gorgeous women you start shaking. It's all in your head, and you can trick it to not make you nervous. As you approach her remind yourself that she isn't perfect, and make criticisms about her while you talk. You won't believe how much this calms you down and how much more confident you seem from it. Go up to her, introduce yourself and tease her. It's a simple formula. Don't make yourself too available in the beginning and don't come off clingy. Play it cool and it will all fall into place.

 

Do NOT be a "nice" guy. I use to be one in middle school and I didn't even know it. Once I broke out of it as I entered high school people respected me and I had more friends. There is a difference between being a nice person and a "nice guy." When a girl rejects you and wants to be friends it is because she sees you as emotionally selfish. If you are people pleaser, stop. Don't tell people what they want to hear. It's the worst characteristic. Tell the facts and how you feel. If a girl is being testy on a day tell her she's being really rude. Don't be a rug. Stand up for yourself. This is why many relationships fail. Many times a girl uses a guy who she sees as vulnerable. She can tell a guy a mile off who will bend over backwards to eat out of her hand. If you have a spine a girl won't use you. (I'm not being sexist. Guys use women too).

 

These are a few things I learned about women by just dating. I learned what works and what doesn't. Make friends with them and you will grow confidence, experience and get a glimpse into their heads. Go out there and get 'em dude! Don't care what others think, and if a girl blows you off move on. You'll snag a great one in no time. B)

 

read this article

 

The road to finding a girl should not be a burdeon. Dating and searching for women is fun. Why do you think so many people in relationships always talk about wishing they were single. :lol:

 

ive thought about that many many times over the past month....... and I know i sound conceited when I say this but.. I dont feel I should have to change who I am just to make some stupid girl who wants to play games happy... this is who I am... I'm needy, affectionate, caring, depending, faithful...... dont get me wrong.... I WOULD LOVE to be one of those guys who can just breakup with a girl and not remember her name the next week.. i so wish I could do that right now.. but thats just not who I am. This girl was fine with this for the first couple years and she even told me she wanted the same :filtered:.... but these past few months she switched into this new... creature.... that is quite heartless ... and lives for the moment.. doesnt plan the future anymore... I dont know how to explain it and its just how much she changed in how little time that has me awestruck and scratching my head as to what to do ?? We've been mad at each other and not talked for similar amounts of times before, and after a month or two we were always right back together and in the same love and affection as before... but there was never the new dynamic of a new "friend" (she still denies shes with him, though she admits that she likes him)....... I really dont know if I should just let her go....... see her and try to talk to her face to face... I dont know if I'll look back at this for years to come and kick myself in the :filtered: for not at least TRYING to get her back... I'm so confused by everything right now... and as I email her from time to time and ask her about things... it becomes very apparent that she is very confused herself but also excited about her new way of living (partying, etc.)

 

If i were looking at it from someone elses shoes, I'd probably tell myself to just let her go and find someone else. But the amount WE (as in mutually) cared for each other, loved each other, I just cant do it

Edited by OSalcido

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ive thought about that many many times over the past month....... and I know i sound conceited when I say this but.. I dont feel I should have to change who I am just to make some stupid girl who wants to play games happy... this is who I am... I'm needy, affectionate, caring, depending, faithful...... dont get me wrong.... I WOULD LOVE to be one of those guys who can just breakup with a girl and not remember her name the next week.. i so wish I could do that right now.. but thats just not who I am. This girl was fine with this for the first couple years and she even told me she wanted the same :filtered:.... but these past few months she switched into this new... creature.... that is quite heartless ... and lives for the moment.. doesnt plan the future anymore... I dont know how to explain it and its just how much she changed in how little time that has me awestruck and scratching my head as to what to do ?? We've been mad at each other and not talked for similar amounts of times before... but there was never the new dynamic of a new "friend" (she still denies shes with him, though she admits that she likes him)....... I really dont know if I should just let her go....... see her and try to talk to her face to face... I dont know if I'll look back at this for years to come and kick myself in the :filtered: for not at least TRYING to get her back... I'm so confused by everything right now

 

You don't change who you are. You change your motive on how to meet new girls and in the process you be yourself. You can be yourself but goof up on the ways that are successful in attracting women. All you need to do is follow some of the steps I posted, and the one who is attracted to your personality will make it evident. Act like you are not looking for a girlfriend. Make them come to you. That's all I was trying to say. :)

 

I remember when my first dog died. I was so sad, but the next week my parents got a new puppy. That helped the whole thing. I was still sad, but having the new dog took my mind off of it and made me happy. What you need to do is find another girl and you won't even think about your ex anymore.

Edited by The Dude

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You know what they say.. When you fall off that girl, you just have to get right back on.. Wait, maybe that's with horses..

 

Uhhh.. When your old girlfriend dies and you are sad, your parents will buy you a new girlfriend and you'll forget.. wait, that's not right.. Oh, that's with dogs..

 

Hmm, my point is that you should find a new girlfriend. :mrgreen:

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You know what they say.. When you fall off that girl, you just have to get right back on.. Wait, maybe that's with horses..

 

Uhhh.. When your old girlfriend dies and you are sad, your parents will buy you a new girlfriend and you'll forget.. wait, that's not right.. Oh, that's with dogs..

 

Hmm, my point is that you should find a new girlfriend. :mrgreen:

 

I think you're loosing it there bud. You pulled it together in the end though and that's what counts. :geezer:

 

OSalcido, I'm impressed, we're throwing a lot of critiscm at you and you're just taking it. You're thinking way too into this though, you should take a vacation. Just promise yourself that you can think about her all you want when you get back, but none on the vacay (otherwise it'll ruin it!).

 

I think I'm starting to realize why this thread is so long. All of the pages look the same, and the same exact things are being said over and over.

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Well first of all I have to disagree with everyone telling you to start dating someone else asap...you are definately not ready to start dating other women. If you went out with someone now, all you'd be doing is comparing her to your EX gf and missing being with the EX gf. Just do stuff that you find fun and spend time with family etc. It's too bad there's no Relationship Manual to tell you how to do stuff...I personally think you're going to have to let her go do her thing and if by some chance the two of you get back together then it was meant to be. She's a kid!!!...she needs to have fun(and so do you!) and enjoy it because at age 43, I feel like I missed out on a lot of life by getting married at age 18...It's better that she had fun now instead of waking up at 40 and thinking..."is this all there is to life?????!!!!!!!!!!" :nono:

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Well first of all I have to disagree with everyone telling you to start dating someone else asap...you are definately not ready to start dating other women. If you went out with someone now, all you'd be doing is comparing her to your EX gf and missing being with the EX gf. Just do stuff that you find fun and spend time with family etc. It's too bad there's no Relationship Manual to tell you how to do stuff...I personally think you're going to have to let her go do her thing and if by some chance the two of you get back together then it was meant to be. She's a kid!!!...she needs to have fun(and so do you!) and enjoy it because at age 43, I feel like I missed out on a lot of life by getting married at age 18...It's better that she had fun now instead of waking up at 40 and thinking..."is this all there is to life?????!!!!!!!!!!" :nono:

 

 

 

Hence the seven year itch.

 

Five more pages and I'm driving Dr. Phil out there. :lol:

Edited by Lou

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