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OSalcido

Girlfriend of 4 Years Left me

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I've been with this girl for 5 years and we were always so close to each other and february of last year, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she accepted. A few months ago, her mood started changing drastically... she would snap at me , she would curse at me, she would side with other people against me, etc. etc. I chalked it up to stress from her attending university. Anyways, over a month ago, she snapped yet another time at me and has not answered my various repeated attempts to contact her... today I found out she has been seeing someone else.

 

I am 20 years old and this is the only girl I have ever been with and I am completely and utterly destroyed.

 

Up to 6 months ago she and I were making plans to be married (after college) and spend the rest of our lives together... I feel so empty I do not know what to do and I can't stop thinking about her every single :filtered: minute...

 

I'm not one to ask for pity/help/advice online... but I really need it now

 

Please just tell me how much of an :filtered: she is! I realy really need to hear that right now.

 

To any guy who has been with their girl since high school and shes about to go into college..... end it now and save the heartache. I NEVER thought she could do this to me. Apparently she met someone in college and now barely remembers my name. This is one of the nicest, most modest people on earth and for her to be capable of such a feat, it can only mean that ALL OF THEM ARE

 

Thank you all for listening. :surrender:

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Not the type of support I was looking for but thank you for your reply

 

Better toughen up and learn to deal with it. :boxing:

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Um... there's not a lot of encouragement that I (or any other honest guy) can really give you on this. At about the time they leave home until around 25 or so, girls turn into wild things that are out to get as much life experience as they can- they are emotional, fickle, and unstable- those are their more pleasant qualities.

 

Mid to late twenties they start too mellow out and become worth while for LTRs- of course then you have to becareful that you aren't just falling for the biological clock monster, end up with a girl you didn't really have much in common with except for mutual attraction and her need for your seed, and have the whole thing blow up from matrimony to alimony and child support.

 

Short is- You need to tough up emotionally, get a little bit meaner and then things will go much better.

 

I don't mean hit or abuse your girls, but if you kiss up too them and let them have their way ALL the time they resent you for being weak.

 

The Love Doctor is in (R rated)

Edited by FrankenBox

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If she has decided to date someone else-- that usually means you didn't do anything wrong.. She changed, and the changes just don't include you anymore. It isn't painless, as you know, but it is the reality--- you will be uncomfortable for a period of time.

 

You are an still OK person, its just that you are feeling very lonely and abandoned..

 

:(:geezer::(

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I don't mean hit or abuse your girls, but if you kiss up too them and let them have their way ALL the time they resent you for being weak.

 

 

 

In retrospect.. this seems a likely cause. However, I had always looked at putting up with her as a show of strength.. I thought men were supposed to just take every curse word from a woman and be strong enough to say 'Well I still love you'.... boy has that line of thinking really messed me up.. :thud:

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If she has decided to date someone else-- that usually means you didn't do anything wrong.. She changed, and the changes just don't include you anymore. It isn't painless, as you know, but it is the reality--- you will be uncomfortable for a period of time.

 

You are an still OK person, its just that you are feeling very lonely and abandoned..

 

:(:geezer::(

 

 

Fair enough

 

but why not give me a simple explanation? She just stopped talking to me after 5 years? What the hell?? Where are all the "Shes an :filtered:!" posts.........

 

 

 

this is not really helping me at all....

Anyways, as I turn 21 tomorrow (What a birthday gift this was)....... I Plan to drink myself silly :cheers:

Edited by OSalcido

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In addition to the previous link, the following guy gives the same thing in a more methodical and less funny form:

 

David D.

 

I haven't been in the 4 year thing, so I can't empathize with your feelings on this, but I have been in a similar position of being heartbroken by girls I thought the world of.

 

Honestly- No matter what a women will tell you; nice guys do finish last in the dating game.

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what BS some of these replies are. :rolleyes:

 

We women get hurt and messed over just as bad as you guys do. Its a two way street. Some people are just crappy, male and female and unfortunately we usually become involved with a person like this at least once in our lives.

 

You got dumped. Nothing you can do about it but move on and face reality. Doesn't make it hurt any less but thats basically the only thing you can do.

 

As the saying goes and this too shall pass. And it will.

 

In a little while you will look back and think she did me a favor because she wasn't the one for me.

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ive been there and it sucks worst time in my life gets better over time but for the moment it will feel like never ending.

 

dont drink it makes it worse my suggestion is to get a bag of herb instead :happy:

Edited by invision

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Her side of the story?

 

Let's see, I've been on the other side of that dance and also the neutral party more than a few times....

 

Goes like this: "I'm sorry but I just don't feel the same about you anymore (You are a looser), and I think that we should see other people (I'm bored with you/guy #2 is really neat and he flirts with me). I think we should be friends though (can I call you when I need a ride late at night, or if I need to :filtered: at someone?)"

 

Sorry Tracy, but she dropped him, not vice versa. If it were the other way around then there might be a different tone. Girls get hurt yes, but they also lie like nothing else when they dump a guy- they might think they are being "nice" or "sensitive" but it's even more hurtful and offensive.

 

OSalido; I couldn't call her a :filtered: or anything worse because I don't know her. I don't know you, but can only guess from the tone of your first post that you were/are madly in love and probably showered her with affection and care.

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Just ONE post calling her a :filtered:, :filtered:, :filtered:, etc. would be welcome

 

Any pleasure derived from revenge is fleeting. Be careful--don't do something now that you will regret in future better times.

 

Part of loving someone is wanting them to have what is best for them. Love is not about ownership--it's a voluntary thing. Rightly or wrongly, she has decided that you are not what is best for her. Support her if you can (that's tough, I know), but by all means, respect her wishes. You have nothing to gain by disparaging her, but you do have the potential to lose something--respect, dignity, and the chance that she might change her mind. Any ugliness that you exhibit now will always tell more about you than it will ever tell about her.

 

And, don't forget, you can't force someone to love you. If she has indeed moved on and found someone new, then you are better off by not being in a romantic relationship with her.

 

Though things may seem bleak now, this is all just a part of life. Every one of us has been where you are now, and we all lived through it--mostly for the better. Don't dwell on it. Find something else to do and move on. All in all, life is good and full of surprises.

Edited by rhizome

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what BS some of these replies are. :rolleyes:

 

We women get hurt and messed over just as bad as you guys do. Its a two way street. Some people are just crappy, male and female and unfortunately we usually become involved with a person like this at least once in our lives.

 

You got dumped. Nothing you can do about it but move on and face reality. Doesn't make it hurt any less but thats basically the only thing you can do.

 

As the saying goes and this too shall pass. And it will.

 

In a little while you will look back and think she did me a favor because she wasn't the one for me.

 

Well said TracyLynn. :tup:

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Never put another person on a pedistal, which is what you have done.

 

 

alcohol is the last thing you need in your system--- it causes depression, well, more depression.. You really need to avoid mind altering substances --- clear thinking is hard enough on a nice clear day-- don't make clouds...

 

:geezer:

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look its obvious we were never in love if she can do this to me... so I don't want to hear about "Love is not ownership" stuff

 

still , this is a :filtered: thing to do if we loved each other or not

 

I can't believe everyone defending her here

 

I never once hit my girlfriend, I never cheated on her, I NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THAT

 

But she goes and drops me like a bad habit for some dude she met in college (Oh btw, SHE REPEATEDLY ASSURED ME THAT SOMETHING LIKE THIS COULD NEVER HAPPEN AND THAT SHE WOULD NOT GIVE ANY GUY WHO HIT ON HER THE TIME OF DAY) and I'm the bad guy? This is a crock

 

Thank you Frank you seem to be the only one on my side in this whole damn world

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Never put another person on a pedistal, which is what you have done.

alcohol is the last thing you need in your system--- it causes depression, well, more depression.. You really need to avoid mind altering substances --- clear thinking is hard enough on a nice clear day-- don't make clouds...

 

:geezer:

 

Yes I never should have done that but this girl repeatedly assured me that I was her entire life (as it turns out, I was the only thing she had and thats why she strung me along)

 

Rest assured I will never put anyone on a pedastal ever ever again

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Anyways, as I turn 21 tomorrow (What a birthday gift this was)....... I Plan to drink myself silly :cheers:

 

Why do people insist on getting totally :filtered: ed outa their faces to get rid of their problems? ahh..

 

All i can say is... just try to forget about it, take an interest in another female and it will quickly dissipate.

 

Look alright.. this exact same :filtered: happened to me a while ago, only it MIGHT of been worse.. stop being so hard on yourself SHE is the one who :filtered: ed things up not you. Seems to me like shes immature... thats why im not getting into a serious relationship right now, its not worth getting hurt over when the person you want to be with is just going to :filtered: you up royally because they are immature and do NOT think.

Edited by strukt

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Grow now and become stronger through this pain that you are facing. You will need this strength when she suddenly finds herself dumped by her "New" boy friend and tries to come running back to you.

 

Kharna happens. :mrgreen:

 

:)Y

 

 

edit: Happy almost your Birthday! :P

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:clap::clap:

 

Grow now and become stronger through this pain that you are facing. You will need this strength when she suddenly finds herself dumped by her "New" boy friend and tries to come running back to you.

 

Kharna happens. :mrgreen:

 

:)Y

edit: Happy almost your Birthday! :P

 

 

Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you

 

This is exactly What I needed to hear

 

Thank you for the happy birthday too :beer:

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