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Sir T Fireball

Anti-Spyware Brigade
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Everything posted by Sir T Fireball

  1. Ummmm I think nature sculptured my body into the buff, ripped specimen it is. All down to my good genes baby!!! That ain't what you mean by 'shaped' is it
  2. I am always happy to help where I can. If you want to buy a penthouse in London, give me a call
  3. Thanks people and Joe. I have a call back from the tech dept booked for tomorrow evening. Off to brush up on my language skills.
  4. We need to cut off the whole of the UK from the internet with the exception of London. That way the resources will be used to maximum benefit to the economy as everyone outside of London is a nothing but a drain. Saw you there Wiggy
  5. I've tried all the clean-ups, defrags, malaware/superantispyware stuff. What is odd is that it is now intermittent. This morning I switched on while waiting for the KB to make my breakfast and it was fine. Ran a speed test and wa d/l at over 6mb and upping at the usual 550. I had this for a brief 15 minutes yesterday evening too. This is without me doing anything inbetween good and bad times. Stormy, I have tried pinging and tracrt to the BBC. Perhaps I should post that result tonight... MOTF I appreciate your advice and words of wisdom. MME I have already flushed and replaced, but will try the Winsocks prog tonight when I get home Thanks you all for your input so far
  6. I did that a few times, but no joy. If I still can't d/load the optimize test when I get home tonight, I will plug a laptop into the test socket after unplugging everything else. Does my trace route result in the first post indicate an internal or external fault? Maybe a basic query, but I am a basic kinda guy
  7. Dinner with her? 2 problems with that... 1. it is 10.25pm here 2. I have only just finished wrestling with her in the yard. She hates being chained to her post for the night. Just jumped to 306kb d/loaded
  8. Do you happen to know how big the optimize3-setup-00002.exe file is? I have only managed to d/load 147kb in over 10 minutes. If it is a few mb in size I will not continue tonight, but try again in the morning.
  9. Hi Jay. XP Home sp3 IE7 Spybot S&D AdAware Windows Firewall Just deleted AVG 9. I have always used AVG, but recently updated it, so deleted it to see if it was a part of the problem. Seems not. Bandwidth results: Down - 208 Up - 493 I am waiting for the optimize page to open and will post results as soon as I get them I have also changed my dsl filter and unplugged all other telephones in the house to eliminate the chance of them causing interference.
  10. For some reason, my internet connection has slowed down to a crawl since Friday just gone. I am not aware of anyone playing with any settings (my son is away ) so I guess that points to my ISP. However, before I make that call to Bangladesh, I thought I would post my tracert result for the pitstop address to see if any of it means anything to anyone. I pinged the same address and the results were fine. I would include a pitstop test result link, but 20 minutes and still waiting for the page to open C:\Documents and Settings\Andy>tracert www.pcpitstop.com Tracing route to pcpitstop.com [] over a maximum of 30 hops: 1 <1 ms <1 ms <1 ms . [] 2 16 ms 17 ms 16 ms host-83-146-18-122.dslgb.com [] 3 16 ms * 16 ms ge-0-0-0.30.cht-cor-001.bddsl.net [] 4 * 15 ms 16 ms so-0-0-0.0.thn-cor-001.bddsl.net [] 5 16 ms 17 ms 16 ms linx.he.net [] 6 * 84 ms 84 ms 10gigabitethernet4-4.core1.nyc4.he.net [72.52.92 .241] 7 90 ms 98 ms 99 ms 10gigabitethernet2-3.core1.ash1.he.net [72.52.92 .86] 8 118 ms 119 ms 118 ms 10gigabitethernet1-1.core1.mia1.he.net [72.52.92 .54] 9 * 122 ms 118 ms t0-0-0-1.br2.mia.terremark.net [] 10 149 ms 148 ms 148 ms Po14.br1.dfw.terremark.net [] 11 151 ms 152 ms 152 ms 12 152 ms 155 ms 151 ms daa.g920.ispa.datareturn.com [] 13 148 ms 149 ms 150 ms daa.g906.p40a.datareturn.com [] 14 148 ms 149 ms 150 ms pcpitstop.com [] Trace complete.
  11. The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans (2009)
  12. The Continued Adventures of Reptile Man and His Faithful Sidekick Tadpole
  13. This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first: John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary." Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's butt with us." Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His butt?" John: "If you kiss Hank's butt, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the snot out of you." Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?" John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His butt." Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..." Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the butt?" Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..." John: "Then come kiss Hank's butt with us." Me: "Do you kiss Hank's butt often?" Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..." Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?" John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town." Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?" Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the snot out of you." Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's butt, left town, and got the million dollars?" John: "My mother kissed Hank's butt for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money." Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?" John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it." Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?" Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street." Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?" John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'" Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game." John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's butt He'll kick the snot out of you." Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..." Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank." Me: "Then how do you kiss His butt?" John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His butt. Other times we kiss Karl's butt, and he passes it on." Me: "Who's Karl?" Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's butt. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times." Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His butt, and that Hank would reward you?" John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself." From the Desk of Karl 1.Kiss Hank's butt and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town. 2.Use alcohol in moderation. 3.Kick the snot out of people who aren't like you. 4.Eat right. 5.Hank dictated this list Himself. 6.The moon is made of green cheese. 7.Everything Hank says is right. 8.Wash your hands after going to the bathroom. 9.Don't use alcohol. 10.Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments. 11.Kiss Hank's butt or He'll kick the snot out of you. Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead." Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper." Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting." John: "Of course, Hank dictated it." Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?" Mary: "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people." Me: "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the snot out of people just because they're different?" Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right." Me: "How do you figure that?" Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!" Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up." John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too." Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong." John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure." Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..." Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese." Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese." John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!" Me: "We do?" Mary: "Of course we do, Item 7 says so." Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'" John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking." Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?" Mary: She blushes. John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong." Me: "What if I don't have a bun?" John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong." Me: "No relish? No Mustard?" Mary: She looks positively stricken. John: He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!" Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?" Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears."I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la." John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..." Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time." Mary: She faints. John: He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the snot out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's butt for you, you bunless cut-wienered -eater." With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off. Sound familiar?
  14. http://www.venusproject.com/ecs/true_origi...ristianity.html Christianity is bogus
  15. Sh'up or I'll give Kojak the key to NSY
  16. You just wanna see me suffer!!! I suggest it is moved to the Linux room. That place is already full of people who believe in odd stuff. For real, I mean God is NOT a penguin, okay?
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